Happy birthday daddy!

Yesterday was Mark's birthday, and he informed me that he got the best birthday present ever. Was it the Red Sox hat and t-shirt that I gave him? Nope. Was it the strawberry double layer birthday cake that I labored over for hours? Nope. He told me his present was our little girl. He had been praying for the last few weeks that she could make it until his birthday... and here she is! If you would have asked us a few months ago if we thought that we would be sitting here today, we would have said no. After getting all of the horrible results back from our ultrasounds, we would not have thought it was possible that Adalyn would still be with us today. How dare we doubt our little girl?! How dare we doubt that she does not have her mommy and daddy's stubborn genes?! She is a fighter and a stubborn one at that. So, last night he got to enjoy a cake from his little girl. It is even decorated so terribly and it looks like she could have made it! 

Of course, there is no way I can give all of the credit to our genes and our little girl. We know that none of this would be possible without His glory and grace. Our little girl has been such a blessing, and we have enjoyed every single second of her presence in our lives. We would not be able to do this without God's intervention though. Even though I still get angry that Adalyn has been diagnosed with Trisomy 13, I am reminded every day how blessed we are to have her in our lives. This little angel was given to us for a reason, and we thank Him for that every day. 

The bigger my belly gets, the more people comment on it. Almost every time I come into contact with a stranger they ask me when I am due and if it is a boy or girl. They almost always tell me congratulations and talk about how excited that we must be. Yes, it is hard to participate in these conversations... it always breaks my heart to talk about her like everything is okay and pretend how excited we are for it. Of course I am not going to tell a perfect stranger the real story of what is going on. The reality is that I have been going about it all wrong though. Why shouldn't we be excited?! Why shouldn't we be so happy?! I will be 36 weeks on Thursday and our little girl is still kicking away. Mark and I feel it in our hearts that we are going to get at least a little bit of time with her. Right there is a reason to be excited! Even if we only get a few hours with our little girl we will be so happy. Why would that not be a reason to celebrate? I think this is what God has been trying to tell me when he puts these people in my life. He is reminding me all the time that we SHOULD be excited and happy.

So, whenever you are feeling down or depressed about something, just remember that you DO have something to celebrate. God has given each and every person so many blessings to be thankful for. Maybe it is something as simple as a sunny day or having good health. Whatever is getting you down in your life, just remember to step back and think about all the good things you have in it and rejoice! 

Post Doctor (8/23)

Just got back from the doctor a little bit ago... we heard her heartbeat and it was music to our ears. Although she is not moving very much, she is still with us. I had my blood pressure checked and weight to make sure I am not preeclamptic or anything. Everything checked out okay.. except for the fact that I gained 4 lbs in 3 days! This medicine is making me retain water at an insane rate! Hopefully after I stop it everything goes away.. including the weight. 

To make things short, thanks for the prayers. So far things are still good! Hopefully we will not be seeing Addy for 6 more weeks (since I am 34 weeks today). 

Another Update (8/23)

This is just a short update, asking for more prayers. Most of you have read my last update on Monday, and are aware of our situation. I started taking the steroids on Monday and now I have not felt Addy moving much these past few days. I am going to the doctor for a non-stress test today at 2:00 and we are very worried. We ask for prayers that my medical problems and medicine have not affected our little girl and that she is okay.

Below are just a few things I wanted share with you guys: some things that we have been doing as a family to enjoy all these precious times we are getting together. We pray that we get some more of these..

We bought the above book for Mark to read to Adalyn. Given his career and his love of construction we thought it would be perfect for him to read to her. The first night he read it she actually started kicking like crazy! It was precious! She is definitely a daddy's girl..

Last night Mark and I had tickets to the Red Sox game. It was Addy's 3rd game but we finally got pictures of us! Even though they lost (like usual) it was still a blast!

I will post an update as soon as we know anything from the appointment. Of course, we have accepted God's plan and know that whatever happens is part of it, but we are praying for some more time with our precious girl. Hopefully I will be able to post good news later, and that Addy may be able to go full term. Thank you again for your prayers and support.

Another Bump in the Road

We have come across another hill on this roller coaster journey of ours these past few days. One week ago I was bragging about how "healthy" I am, especially for a pregnant person. My doctor told me that my iron levels are through the roof, which is abnormal for a pregnant lady. My platelets were also in the normal range, at 160,000 (normal is 150,000 to 400,000). Unfortunately I spoke to soon.. last Friday I got a phone call after my prenatal appointment informing me that my levels have now dropped to 64,000. We scheduled an appointment to get them checked again Saturday in case we needed immediate treatment. They were down to 55,000. So.... after seeing my hematologist yesterday he decided to put me on a very aggressive form of steroid. I only take it for 4 days, because it is about 40 times stronger than prednisone. The side affects should wear off after day 5, so we are hoping they are not too drastic. 

I thought for sure that things could not get much worse, but Mark put it in good terms: we have just come across another bump in the road. Of course I am terrified, for Adalyn's sake. We are asking for prayers that this treatment will not affect her in any negative way, and that the Decadron medicine will bring my platelets up for when I go into labor. We are very thankful for our faith, because if not for it, I would be a horrible mess right now. He is teaching me to trust in Him and to be patient. These things are happening for a reason, and when we come out of all this, we will be stronger than ever. A stronger couple, and a stronger relationship with Christ. 

On a good note, I am almost 34 weeks, so we still have our little fighter. Last week we met with the neonatologist, nurses, and a social worker. We gave them our birth plan and finalized what to expect when I go into labor. They were very sincere and we feel like we are in great hands. When it comes time, they are going to make our experience as good as it can possibly be and as comfortable as possible. These next several weeks are going to need lots of prayers and patience. Again, we are thankful for everyone's prayers and support. Without them, we would not be where we are today.

30 Weeks and Counting..

I just wanted to thank all of you that are reading this and praying for our family. Without your prayers I do not think that I would be sitting here enjoying little Addy's kicks and punches while I am writing this. As of today, I am 30 weeks and 4 days.. and for us, I feel that calls for a celebration! In these past several weeks, we have learned two things: that our little angel is a fighter and she got her mom's feisty genes. Anyone who has read about Trisomy 13 or that is familiar with this syndrome may know that most T-13 babies do not carry to term, if they do not miscarry in the first place. Well, here I am at 30 weeks, and all I can say is that Addy is a fighter! 

Last Wednesday we had another ultrasound, and Mark's parents were able to be there in person to see their granddaughter. They were so thankful to be there and I know how much it meant for them to see her in person. They also got to see how feisty she has become! Every time the ultrasound nurse pushed on my belly with the wand, she would kick out at it to push it away. She certainly gave everyone some laughs! Another night Mark decided to "play" with her and pushed on my belly a little with his hands. She got so mad that she shoved his hand all the way out, leaving Mark completely shocked! All of these little things remind me of the reason that we chose the hard route.. the reason we chose to carry our precious little girl. Not one day goes by that I regret our decision to not terminate the pregnancy. Every night as Mark lays there talking to her and enjoying her "soccer games" I thank God for the little blessing that is inside me. As much as we pray for a miracle to happen and for her to come home, we are so very thankful for the time we have already been given with Addy. For anyone out there that is in a similar situation or will be in a similar situation in the future, I will say this: even though it is the harder path to take, you will never regret choosing to carry your little one to term. The doctors and other outsiders may tell you otherwise, that your child is "incompatible" with life, but I believe it is the opposite. That child will change your life and everyone's around it for the better. 

Updates on Adalyn
The ultrasound last Wednesday did not show a lot of changes. They still saw the "asymmetry" with her heart indicating the hypoplastic left heart syndrome, along with enlarged kidneys. One positive thing they saw was that it does not look like she has a cleft lip or palate, which took some worries off because if she does survive it will not be as hard for her to eat. She is also measuring in the 2%, which means that she is pretty small (typical of T-13 babies). 
Prayer Request: Even though Addy has managed to fight for this long, we do not know how much longer it will be before I go into labor. We are asking everyone to please pray for her to be able to fight for at least another 8 weeks or so. Thank you!

Last week we got to spend five days with Mark's parents and brother in Boston, and two days out on Cape Cod to finish the week. It was so nice to be able to spend time as a family and to explore the sites around Boston and the Cape. We saw some historic sites and also relaxed on the beach for a few days. Again, Addy got to see and do some new things, which we are very thankful for. 

Psalm 13.. How Long Lord?

These past few weeks at church we have started a new series called "Psalms: A Soundtrack For Our Lives." Our church has several pastors, and each of them has given a sermon about a specific Psalm, and has related a song to their story. You would think that since last week was about enjoying the periods of great happiness and blessing that I would have seen this week's sermon coming, but I did not. Pastor Jeanette spoke today on Psalm 13. Her message was titled "How Long, Lord?" The Psalm is from David, and in the beginning he starts out basically yelling at God and sounding so angry. He is crying out about his struggles and feels forgotten because of his situation. In the end, his tone does a complete 180 degree turn and he praises the Lord because He is good to him. 

During the entire sermon, Mark and I sat there hand in hand and had to give each other a few squeezes here and there. It really hit home for us. Ten weeks ago we began this journey with feelings of complete anger and abandonment when we found out our sweet Addy's diagnosis. My prayers for the first little bit consisted of questions like "How could you do this to us Lord?" and "Why us?!" Then, after speaking to certain people and hours upon hours of talking and crying, Mark and I realized that Adalyn was given to us for a specific purpose. He trusted us with her and knew that we would choose to carry this sweet angel, and somehow He knew that we would do whatever we could in our power to make sure Adalyn affects at least one person's life. Now, my prayers and questions consist of asking Him how we can help others using our situation. Our little girl has already changed our lives and strengthened our faith in so many ways, and if we can just bring one person to know what it means to love God then that is one more person that will get to enjoy the blessings of heaven. 

The last verse in Psalm 13 states: I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me. Because of all the blessings that God has placed in our lives over the past few months, we have realized that we are not alone and that God really is good to us. The phone calls, emails, cards, and edible arrangements that we have received were all sent from Him. There have been times when I wonder how we are going to get through this, and then I will get a message or an email saying that we are in someone's thoughts and prayers and my strength is renewed. My mother-in-law spent last week at a camp called Solid Rock, where they get children from all over Ohio who come to spend a week of worship. She told me that all of them are praying for our family and that they even prayed over a blanket that she is making for Adalyn. To know that we have people from not just all over the country, but from all ages praying for us is what gives Mark and I strength to keep walking this path on our journey.

What I want others to get from this is that no matter what season you are in, God is there every step of the way. Even in the darkest of moments, He is there to help guide you out. You are never alone in your struggles, even if you may feel it at times, because He is there waiting to give you the strength to "overcome the grease on the sides of the tunnel, so that you can get to the light" as Pastor Jeanette says. Whether you have lost a loved one, moved away from family, lost a job, or whatever other struggles you may go through, it is good to know that God is always there. 

I volunteer with our junior high ministry, called Fusion, and today we talked about Matthew 5:3. It is a verse out of the Sermon on the Mount, and it goes "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Jesus is stating that if you are grieving, He will bring you comfort in the end. I know that over the next few months we may be going through this period, but in the end, we will find comfort and good things will come from it. This is true for anyone: whatever season you are in right now, whether it be great joy or a period of mourning, God is there every step of the way to bring you comfort and happiness in the end. Jocelyn, one of Fusion's leaders, told us an Arab proverb that goes "All sunshine makes a dessert." Everyone will go through a period of "rain" in their lives, because in the end, it will bring us closer to God.

Here is all of Psalm 13:

¹ How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him, ”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

Prayer request: Last week I reached out to another family who has been affected by a trisomy diagnosis. They are the Mummerts and they currently live in Virginia. My friend Claire is the one who directed me to their blog, which is about Harrison, who was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, which is similar to Trisomy 13. Ever since I introduced myself to James, he has been extremely kind and has shared Addy's story with everyone he knows. We now have more people who know Addy and who are praying for us, which means the world. The Mummerts have been another blessing from God, and I just want everyone to say a prayer for them, because they have gone through a great period of sadness over the past couple months. Thank you! Here is their blog: http://harrisonjamesmummert.com/

 

 Mark and I went to Hampton Beach yesterday and took a picture to add to our collection. It was nice to get to spend a relaxing day as a family! Plus, I found my favorite store ever: Sweet Hannah's. I got to stuff an entire box full of salt water taffy for $9. They had flavors like PB&J, cotton candy, creamsicle, and watermelon! Yum!

Almost to the 3rd Trimester!

As I was sitting on our couch watching Formula One with Mark (we only have one TV) I got to thinking... I will be 28 weeks this Thursday! Obviously I have been very involved in this race.. sorry Mark. So, I decided that I needed to share this news! In a normal pregnancy, it would not be such a huge milestone, but in our case, the fact that our little fighter has made it this long is a miracle. Of course it is hard to get accurate statistics on these types of pregnancies, but from what I have researched and talking to others in our situation, it is very rare to carry a full trisomy 13 baby this long. Most of these babies will have miscarried already.. but not our sweet Addy! In fact, her kicks have gotten so strong that sometimes I watch my whole belly shift! Today as we were sitting in church, she decided that she was very interested in the pastor's sermon on enjoying the seasons of blessing in our life. Mark saw me looking down and as he did so, he got to see a little punch-kick combination. He just stared and smiled. 

Speaking of church today, this specific sermon really got me thinking. Our pastor kept talking about how we are in a season of great joy and that things are going well, especially with our church expanding. He talked about his family and their adoption of twins, and also about other happy moments. The message was that we should be strengthening our faith in times of great joy, and not just in periods of struggle and sadness. He said to enjoy the "autumn before the winter". I kept telling myself that this message was not meant for me, because I am not in a period of great joy and blessing. But then, as I got to thinking about it, we ARE in a period of joy and blessing. Our precious Adalyn is a joy to us and such a blessing. As angry as Mark and I get at times that our child has to go through this, we have managed to bask in God's glory and love because He has blessed us in so many ways. Although I may never know exactly why He did this to us, I do know that there is a reason she was given to us and that something amazing will come from this. 

On another note, it has been a week since I have been back in Boston. Mark and I got to fly home for our friends' wedding, and I got to spend a full nine days back in Dayton. It was so wonderful driving on "normal" roads with friendly drivers and not getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of living around Boston. It was very relaxing and I enjoyed every moment I got to spend with family and friends. I got to go out to breakfast with my parents, go shopping with my mother and grandmother, go out with friends, and have a picnic with our whole family. We have not been home since we found out we were pregnant, so it was so nice to see everyone and I embraced every hug and warm smile I received. It was very hard to say goodbye, but we are looking forward to the next time we get to go home. 

Lastly, we are asking for even more prayers than ever. Even though Addy has managed to make it this long, every day I wake up fearing that today might be the day that I go into labor and may lose our precious angel. It is so hard waking up like this, and I continue to pray to God that He gives us longer with her. We are also going to meet with a funeral home this week, to make arrangements just in case she does not make it out of the hospital. It is going to be so hard walking into a place like this, because nobody should have to plan their child's funeral. It is supposed to be the opposite and our children should be the ones burying us. But, we have been put in this situation for a reason, and we are continuing to ask for strength and courage to get through these obstacles. We continue to thank everyone for all of the amazing support and prayers that are given to us, and we know that we would not be able to get through this without these things and our faith. To all of you reading this who have supported us and prayed for us: Thank you.

This is the necklace my Aunt Kathy had made for me. It has Adalyn's name on it along with both of our birthstones. I absolutely love it and will wear it every day. Thanks Aunt Kathy :-)

Here is just some evidence at how much support we have gotten. Between the cards, edible arrangement, and the phone calls, words can not express how thankful we are. Again.. thank you everyone!