30 Weeks and Counting..

I just wanted to thank all of you that are reading this and praying for our family. Without your prayers I do not think that I would be sitting here enjoying little Addy's kicks and punches while I am writing this. As of today, I am 30 weeks and 4 days.. and for us, I feel that calls for a celebration! In these past several weeks, we have learned two things: that our little angel is a fighter and she got her mom's feisty genes. Anyone who has read about Trisomy 13 or that is familiar with this syndrome may know that most T-13 babies do not carry to term, if they do not miscarry in the first place. Well, here I am at 30 weeks, and all I can say is that Addy is a fighter! 

Last Wednesday we had another ultrasound, and Mark's parents were able to be there in person to see their granddaughter. They were so thankful to be there and I know how much it meant for them to see her in person. They also got to see how feisty she has become! Every time the ultrasound nurse pushed on my belly with the wand, she would kick out at it to push it away. She certainly gave everyone some laughs! Another night Mark decided to "play" with her and pushed on my belly a little with his hands. She got so mad that she shoved his hand all the way out, leaving Mark completely shocked! All of these little things remind me of the reason that we chose the hard route.. the reason we chose to carry our precious little girl. Not one day goes by that I regret our decision to not terminate the pregnancy. Every night as Mark lays there talking to her and enjoying her "soccer games" I thank God for the little blessing that is inside me. As much as we pray for a miracle to happen and for her to come home, we are so very thankful for the time we have already been given with Addy. For anyone out there that is in a similar situation or will be in a similar situation in the future, I will say this: even though it is the harder path to take, you will never regret choosing to carry your little one to term. The doctors and other outsiders may tell you otherwise, that your child is "incompatible" with life, but I believe it is the opposite. That child will change your life and everyone's around it for the better. 

Updates on Adalyn
The ultrasound last Wednesday did not show a lot of changes. They still saw the "asymmetry" with her heart indicating the hypoplastic left heart syndrome, along with enlarged kidneys. One positive thing they saw was that it does not look like she has a cleft lip or palate, which took some worries off because if she does survive it will not be as hard for her to eat. She is also measuring in the 2%, which means that she is pretty small (typical of T-13 babies). 
Prayer Request: Even though Addy has managed to fight for this long, we do not know how much longer it will be before I go into labor. We are asking everyone to please pray for her to be able to fight for at least another 8 weeks or so. Thank you!

Last week we got to spend five days with Mark's parents and brother in Boston, and two days out on Cape Cod to finish the week. It was so nice to be able to spend time as a family and to explore the sites around Boston and the Cape. We saw some historic sites and also relaxed on the beach for a few days. Again, Addy got to see and do some new things, which we are very thankful for. 

Psalm 13.. How Long Lord?

These past few weeks at church we have started a new series called "Psalms: A Soundtrack For Our Lives." Our church has several pastors, and each of them has given a sermon about a specific Psalm, and has related a song to their story. You would think that since last week was about enjoying the periods of great happiness and blessing that I would have seen this week's sermon coming, but I did not. Pastor Jeanette spoke today on Psalm 13. Her message was titled "How Long, Lord?" The Psalm is from David, and in the beginning he starts out basically yelling at God and sounding so angry. He is crying out about his struggles and feels forgotten because of his situation. In the end, his tone does a complete 180 degree turn and he praises the Lord because He is good to him. 

During the entire sermon, Mark and I sat there hand in hand and had to give each other a few squeezes here and there. It really hit home for us. Ten weeks ago we began this journey with feelings of complete anger and abandonment when we found out our sweet Addy's diagnosis. My prayers for the first little bit consisted of questions like "How could you do this to us Lord?" and "Why us?!" Then, after speaking to certain people and hours upon hours of talking and crying, Mark and I realized that Adalyn was given to us for a specific purpose. He trusted us with her and knew that we would choose to carry this sweet angel, and somehow He knew that we would do whatever we could in our power to make sure Adalyn affects at least one person's life. Now, my prayers and questions consist of asking Him how we can help others using our situation. Our little girl has already changed our lives and strengthened our faith in so many ways, and if we can just bring one person to know what it means to love God then that is one more person that will get to enjoy the blessings of heaven. 

The last verse in Psalm 13 states: I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me. Because of all the blessings that God has placed in our lives over the past few months, we have realized that we are not alone and that God really is good to us. The phone calls, emails, cards, and edible arrangements that we have received were all sent from Him. There have been times when I wonder how we are going to get through this, and then I will get a message or an email saying that we are in someone's thoughts and prayers and my strength is renewed. My mother-in-law spent last week at a camp called Solid Rock, where they get children from all over Ohio who come to spend a week of worship. She told me that all of them are praying for our family and that they even prayed over a blanket that she is making for Adalyn. To know that we have people from not just all over the country, but from all ages praying for us is what gives Mark and I strength to keep walking this path on our journey.

What I want others to get from this is that no matter what season you are in, God is there every step of the way. Even in the darkest of moments, He is there to help guide you out. You are never alone in your struggles, even if you may feel it at times, because He is there waiting to give you the strength to "overcome the grease on the sides of the tunnel, so that you can get to the light" as Pastor Jeanette says. Whether you have lost a loved one, moved away from family, lost a job, or whatever other struggles you may go through, it is good to know that God is always there. 

I volunteer with our junior high ministry, called Fusion, and today we talked about Matthew 5:3. It is a verse out of the Sermon on the Mount, and it goes "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted." Jesus is stating that if you are grieving, He will bring you comfort in the end. I know that over the next few months we may be going through this period, but in the end, we will find comfort and good things will come from it. This is true for anyone: whatever season you are in right now, whether it be great joy or a period of mourning, God is there every step of the way to bring you comfort and happiness in the end. Jocelyn, one of Fusion's leaders, told us an Arab proverb that goes "All sunshine makes a dessert." Everyone will go through a period of "rain" in their lives, because in the end, it will bring us closer to God.

Here is all of Psalm 13:

¹ How long, Lord? Will you forget me forever?
    How long will you hide your face from me?
² How long must I wrestle with my thoughts
    and day after day have sorrow in my heart?
    How long will my enemy triumph over me?

³ Look on me and answer, Lord my God.
    Give light to my eyes, or I will sleep in death,
⁴ and my enemy will say, “I have overcome him, ”
    and my foes will rejoice when I fall.

⁵ But I trust in your unfailing love;
    my heart rejoices in your salvation.
⁶ I will sing the Lord’s praise,
    for he has been good to me.

Prayer request: Last week I reached out to another family who has been affected by a trisomy diagnosis. They are the Mummerts and they currently live in Virginia. My friend Claire is the one who directed me to their blog, which is about Harrison, who was diagnosed with Trisomy 18, which is similar to Trisomy 13. Ever since I introduced myself to James, he has been extremely kind and has shared Addy's story with everyone he knows. We now have more people who know Addy and who are praying for us, which means the world. The Mummerts have been another blessing from God, and I just want everyone to say a prayer for them, because they have gone through a great period of sadness over the past couple months. Thank you! Here is their blog: http://harrisonjamesmummert.com/

 

 Mark and I went to Hampton Beach yesterday and took a picture to add to our collection. It was nice to get to spend a relaxing day as a family! Plus, I found my favorite store ever: Sweet Hannah's. I got to stuff an entire box full of salt water taffy for $9. They had flavors like PB&J, cotton candy, creamsicle, and watermelon! Yum!

Almost to the 3rd Trimester!

As I was sitting on our couch watching Formula One with Mark (we only have one TV) I got to thinking... I will be 28 weeks this Thursday! Obviously I have been very involved in this race.. sorry Mark. So, I decided that I needed to share this news! In a normal pregnancy, it would not be such a huge milestone, but in our case, the fact that our little fighter has made it this long is a miracle. Of course it is hard to get accurate statistics on these types of pregnancies, but from what I have researched and talking to others in our situation, it is very rare to carry a full trisomy 13 baby this long. Most of these babies will have miscarried already.. but not our sweet Addy! In fact, her kicks have gotten so strong that sometimes I watch my whole belly shift! Today as we were sitting in church, she decided that she was very interested in the pastor's sermon on enjoying the seasons of blessing in our life. Mark saw me looking down and as he did so, he got to see a little punch-kick combination. He just stared and smiled. 

Speaking of church today, this specific sermon really got me thinking. Our pastor kept talking about how we are in a season of great joy and that things are going well, especially with our church expanding. He talked about his family and their adoption of twins, and also about other happy moments. The message was that we should be strengthening our faith in times of great joy, and not just in periods of struggle and sadness. He said to enjoy the "autumn before the winter". I kept telling myself that this message was not meant for me, because I am not in a period of great joy and blessing. But then, as I got to thinking about it, we ARE in a period of joy and blessing. Our precious Adalyn is a joy to us and such a blessing. As angry as Mark and I get at times that our child has to go through this, we have managed to bask in God's glory and love because He has blessed us in so many ways. Although I may never know exactly why He did this to us, I do know that there is a reason she was given to us and that something amazing will come from this. 

On another note, it has been a week since I have been back in Boston. Mark and I got to fly home for our friends' wedding, and I got to spend a full nine days back in Dayton. It was so wonderful driving on "normal" roads with friendly drivers and not getting caught up in the hustle and bustle of living around Boston. It was very relaxing and I enjoyed every moment I got to spend with family and friends. I got to go out to breakfast with my parents, go shopping with my mother and grandmother, go out with friends, and have a picnic with our whole family. We have not been home since we found out we were pregnant, so it was so nice to see everyone and I embraced every hug and warm smile I received. It was very hard to say goodbye, but we are looking forward to the next time we get to go home. 

Lastly, we are asking for even more prayers than ever. Even though Addy has managed to make it this long, every day I wake up fearing that today might be the day that I go into labor and may lose our precious angel. It is so hard waking up like this, and I continue to pray to God that He gives us longer with her. We are also going to meet with a funeral home this week, to make arrangements just in case she does not make it out of the hospital. It is going to be so hard walking into a place like this, because nobody should have to plan their child's funeral. It is supposed to be the opposite and our children should be the ones burying us. But, we have been put in this situation for a reason, and we are continuing to ask for strength and courage to get through these obstacles. We continue to thank everyone for all of the amazing support and prayers that are given to us, and we know that we would not be able to get through this without these things and our faith. To all of you reading this who have supported us and prayed for us: Thank you.

This is the necklace my Aunt Kathy had made for me. It has Adalyn's name on it along with both of our birthstones. I absolutely love it and will wear it every day. Thanks Aunt Kathy :-)

Here is just some evidence at how much support we have gotten. Between the cards, edible arrangement, and the phone calls, words can not express how thankful we are. Again.. thank you everyone!