Cherishing The Small Things

Cherishing Each and Every Moment

My mom sent me a beautiful pregnancy journal to keep track of these 9 months of joy. Unfortunately I have not touched it since the day we found out about Addy. I finally picked it up to add some more entries a couple days ago because I thought it may be good to right a few things down, but when I opened the cover, it said “For the happiest 9 months of your life”. Pregnancy IS supposed to be some of the happiest moments of a woman’s life… right? After staring at the journal for several moments, I finally broke down in tears and put the book in storage. I could not do it. For me, I can not say the same. 

Add to that the fact that Mark and I had to complete one of the hardest tasks we have come across in our lives the other day: developing a care plan for the hospital. Writing down on paper words like “no ventilators” and “funeral home” were the hardest things we have done. Despite this, we want to have a written plan on the things we do want and do not want for Adalyn and the care we receive. Of course, we are praying for a miracle that Addy will make it through birth and that we will get a few precious moments with her, but we want to have a plan for every scenario possible. 

Therefore, we have come to the conclusion that these months are definitely the saddest moments of our lives, but why can’t they also be the happiest? Mark and I have made a pact that we are going to enjoy every single moment that we are given with Adalyn. Even if that is just for another few months, every second counts. He has started a ritual every night of feeling her movements. We have both concluded that if she did not have this diagnosis that she would be a star soccer player. She kicks and moves so often that sometimes it startles me! One day Mark had his hand on my belly when he suddenly jumped, because Adalyn kicked him so hard that it moved his hand. From then on he has decided that these moments at night are what he looks forward to every day. I myself have enjoyed each and every kick, because it reminds me that I have a precious angel inside my belly and that each moment with her I am going to enjoy. So, we pray every night thanking God for the little miracle that He has blessed us with, and ask Him to let us enjoy many more of these precious moments. We are so thankful for all the prayers and support we have received, and continue to ask for one thing: prayers. Prayers to give Mark and I continued strength and prayers that we may be able to meet our daughter at least for a brief time, until we have to wait until we get to heaven to see her again.