It has been a few weeks since I last posted on here and even though Adalyn is no longer with us on earth, I thought I would continue to update our blog so that her story can continue to touch others' lives. I have been having a lot of thoughts flooding my mind lately so here goes nothing....
Well, the holidays are officially here! For those of you who know me personally, I do not have to remind you what this means to me... but for those of you reading this who I have not had the privilege of meeting, I will sum it up in one sentence: I LOVE CHRISTMAS! Of course the pretty decorations, gorgeous light displays, delicious food, and wonderful music are all really nice... but that is not my favorite thing about this season. It is the Christmas spirit that rapidly spreads through so many people that I enjoy. Everyone seems to be a little bit happier and nicer during these times. People are in a more giving spirit and want to help others more around Christmas! This is where the Advent Conspiracy comes into play. What is the Advent Conspiracy you may ask? Here is the link: Advent Conspiracy. Okay okay I know it sounds like a promotional ad, but this is something that means a lot to me. If everyone were to buy a little less and give a little more, the world would be a much better place!
To change the subject, I do want to spend a little time talking about our family. A lot of people have been telling us that they are still praying for us, which means the world. It has been almost 10 weeks since our precious angel's birthday. We still miss her every second of every day, and will never stop missing her. It has been a journey of ups and downs, and I know that we will continue to face obstacles in the times to come. We still pray for Him to give us strength all the time, because we are human and will hurt some days worse than others. We continue to grieve in our own ways, and will always grieve for our little girl.
Even though I am so excited that it is the Christmas season, it just is not the same this year as it has been in the past. This holiday season is probably going to be the hardest. It definitely has already started to get hard. It started with Halloween... when we realized that we were not going to be able to dress our little girl in the lady bug costume that we had in mind for her. When we first found out she was due before Halloween, we were so excited that we were going to be able to dress her up in an itty bitty costume. Baby lady bugs are just so cute!
Thanksgiving.... it was definitely a little hard, because we both knew that someone was missing. It was a mixture of emotions that day as we sat around with all of our friends and enjoyed each others' company. We have so many things to be thankful for, and we will always praise Him for all of the things that he has blessed us with. We have an amazing group of people in our lives who I thank God for every day. Our friends and family have been our rock this last year, and we do not know where we would be without them. We also live in an awesome city and have gotten an experience that we will cherish forever. I could go on about all of the things we are thankful for.. but the main thing is Adalyn May. We are so thankful for the time that we had with her and to know that we will one day be reunited with her. We can not wait to get to hold her and hug her again! So even though I have been angry several times this past year, it is safe to say that we are so blessed. I pray that you will also look back and see all of the things that God has blessed you with in your life. Even the small things.... be sure to thank Him for being so merciful and loving!
Today it really hit me hard when we were out buying our Christmas tree and started setting it up. I realized that we will never get to take Addy to help pick out a Christmas tree. She will never get to help hang ornaments while listening to Christmas music and drinking eggnog (family tradition). We will never be able to take her to get her picture with Santa, or dress her in a beautiful Christmas dress. We will also never get to see her face on Christmas morning as she opens up her gifts from Santa. For the longest time I had been looking forward to starting a family and creating our own traditions every year. I would constantly bug Mark about all of the things I could not wait to do with our children every holiday season. One day we may have other children that we get to do these things with, but we will never get to do them with our little Adalyn. I know that over the years things will get easier, but in my heart I will always think this.
For now, we just have to remind ourselves that our sweet angel is looking down on us and would want us to be happy and to enjoy this season. Again, it is so bittersweet... knowing that we have been blessed with our little girl, but not getting to do these little things with her as she grows up. There are probably so many people out there who have lost a child like we have, and our also hurting right now. I ask all of you to say a special prayer for these families during this time.
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| Mark and I got to go home for his best friend Jeremy's wedding last month. He was a handsome groomsman! |
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| Mark surprised me last night by taking me downtown to get sushi and to see the Grinch musical! The Grinch is my favorite movie ever... so it was a wonderful surprise! |
Erin, please do continue to update when you are able. You are in my prayers every day. The Christmas season is a hard time for everyone who has lost loved one recently, but I think it has to be the worst for those who lost children this year. May God bless you with His peace and also His courage to mourn Adalyn. I pray for your marriage, that you and Mark will be able to communicate well when the sorrow hits you hard. I pray that you'll continue to know God's love and peace and power in your lives. Adalyn was and is a beautiful person and it makes me happy that she is in the Lord's tender care, but I continue to grieve for you that she isn't in your home where we all want her to be.
ReplyDeleteGod bless, Laraba