Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month

I have learned a lot of things during this journey, one of them being that we are only one of countless families that have lost a child. Before our lives changed with the devastating diagnosis, we were so oblivious to what was going on around us. I have heard from so many women who have told me about their miscarriages and what they have gone through. They tell me that it is not quite the same as what we have gone through, but it does not matter if it is the same because one way or the other, it is devastating. 

I also hear about friends of friends who have had babies with some kind of illness or trisomy. They have lost their children at some point, and have gone through what Mark and I are going through. I had no idea how many there were until now, and it makes me wonder why God lets these things happen. I know that He probably has a plan in mind for each of these families, but it is hard to think that so many babies have passed away. 

I am writing this post in honor of all of these people who have lost a child or children. No matter what the circumstance, it affects us for the rest of our lives. We will always grieve and remember our children. Even if and when we go on to have other children, we will always think about the ones we have lost, and how they should be growing up right alongside their siblings. Life is not fair, but it is how we handle it and what we make of what is thrown at us that makes us who we are. We have been forever changed, and have become stronger and better people.

As Mark and I still grieve, there have been talks about trying again for another baby. We feel that in some way, it will help our grieving process. To think that one day we will be able to have a healthy baby gives us hope during these times. One thing that crosses our thoughts is what people will think of us if we get pregnant again. Will they think that we are trying to "replace" our little girl? I would hope not... we know that we have so many people who love and will always support us. I recently read a quote that says "I could go on to have 1,000 more children.... but there will always be 1 missing." This is so true... Adalyn will forever be in our hearts and minds, and we will never be trying to "replace" her. We always say that one day Addy will have brothers and sisters, and will be their guardian angel. Grandma Scholz reminded us that she will have her hands full if our children are anything like we were. Get ready Addy!!

"Although we know that after such a loss, the acute stage of mourning will subside, we also know that we shall remain inconsolable and will never find a substitute.  No matter what may fill the gap, even if it be filled completely, it nevertheless remains something else. And actually, this is how it should be. It is the only way of perpetuating that love which we do not want to relinquish". -Sigmund Frued

Update..

First off, I want to thank everyone who read my last post and prayed for these two families. I know they appreciated the prayers, and will appreciate even more prayers as they continue to go through their journeys. 

I will start off with an update on the Romito family. Little Robbie had his open heart surgery last Thursday to fix his precious little heart. The surgery was a success and he is recovering wonderfully! Every day he gets stronger and they get closer to bringing him home. God is so good!! I am sure they will appreciate more prayers that he continues to get better everyday :-)

The other family I asked for prayers is the Davis family. Little Kinsley was born last Wednesday around 4:00 p.m. and survived 39 minutes. They had 39 precious minutes with their beautiful girl before she went to go see Jesus. Please pray for comfort, peace, and strength for Katie and Josh as they continue on this journey until the day they are reunited with their little girl. It has been a bittersweet journey that both of our families have been on, as we have been blessed with beautiful little angels, yet we only had a short time with them. I know that Adalyn was there to greet little Kinsley, along with their friend Harrison Mummert. These three precious angels will probably be best friends and will be there waiting for us when we finally get to be reunited.

Thank you everyone for your prayers and support. These two families, along with Mark and I, are forever grateful for people like you who have been there for us. 

Update on our family: 

Mark and I spent two wonderful weeks back in Dayton with friends and family. We were surrounded by love and support the entire time. Thank you everyone for blessing us with lots of love and comfort! We are now home, and we brought someone back with us. Little miss Roxy made the 14 hour trip back to Boston! She is our 50 lb mutt who is full of energy. We will definitely keep busy with her!

We will continue to post updates on our family, as we have both heard our calling to use our precious Addy May to show God's love and grace. I am not sure exactly how he wants to continue to use us, but I pray that He will lead us on this journey. Thank you all again for helping us on it... we are so blessed!

Urgent Prayer Request

Prayer Request #1:

Over the last several months I have met new people who are on or who have been on the same type of journey that Mark and I are on. We are members of a community that is called Living With Trisomy 13, where we can meet people who have had or currently have children with trisomy 13. One relationship that we have developed is with a young couple from Arizona, who found out about four weeks after me and Mark that their little girl has full trisomy 13. Her name is Kinsley, and her parents are Katy and Josh. They are an awesome family and we have grown close over the last few months as we have gone through this journey together.

I got a text message around 1 a.m. last night that said her water broke and Kinsley is coming. She is currently only 35 weeks, but we are praying that their hopes and prayers get answered and they get to at least meet their little girl. I know how much it would mean for them to get to hold her while she has a heartbeat, but if it is not in God's plan then I ask for prayers for comfort and strength for them. 

Please pray for their family during this time that they receive comfort and great care, and pray for their little girl Kinsley.  

Prayer Request #2:

When I found out I was pregnant and decided to tell all my best friends back home about it at six weeks (we could not wait any longer), that SAME exact night my best friend Fiona also announced that she was PREGNANT. We were due less than a week apart... how crazy is that?! 

Her little boy Robert (Robbie) was born last Thursday. Everything was going great until about 30 seconds after he came out he stopped breathing. They originally thought it was just fluid that he could not get out, but when they did further tests they discovered he has a severe heart defect. His arteries were not hooked up to the correct part of his heart.

After transferring him to Cincinnati Children's Hospital, they have been waiting to find out when he is to get surgery. The surgery board met yesterday and decided that his surgery will be tomorrow. PLEASE pray for Robbie to get through his surgery, and for his parents to stay strong. Also pray for the Lord to guide the doctor's hands through this surgery.


Philippians 4:6-7 do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 1:3

"I thank my God every time I remember you." ~ Philippians 1:3

It has been two weeks since the bittersweet day that we got to spend with our precious angel, Adalyn May. For all of you that have been following our story, I want you to know that we are still going strong. God has blessed us with the strength to continue on this journey and to spread the amazing story of our beautiful and wonderful little girl. 

A few days after her birth, we had a small memorial/celebration in honor of Addy. A friend of ours who is the young adult pastor at our church prepared a short but sweet service for us. Both sets of parents were there along with a couple friends we have grown close to this past year. The funeral home that we were working with picked her up from the hospital and got her cremated (at no cost). They bought a heart urn to put her ashes in and then we put that in a teddy bear. They told us they actually had to use two urns because she would not fit in one urn... Mark made the comment that she continues to be her stubborn self! We brought the bear to the service and placed her on the beautiful blankets that her grandmother's made for her. Everything was perfect and we are very thankful for everyone who aided in this process.

That Sunday we decided to make the trip home (Dayton, Ohio) to spend time with family and friends. Surrounding ourselves with people who love us and support us has helped to renew our strength. On Sunday, we got to go back to the church that we were members at before we moved. They invited our entire family up to the front during the service to receive prayer, and after service others from the church prayed for me and Mark. We definitely felt His presence during this time and we were also encouraged by what we heard from the members. 

Being told that we have inspired people and made an impact on others' lives gave us so much encouragement and inspiration to continue on this journey. So many people told us how much of an impact our precious Adalyn made on their life, and will continue to make. We also heard that we have helped to be a poster child for anti-abortion. To know that our story may save a child's life in the future reminds me of part of the reason our little girl was given to us. 

On Friday, I met up with friends for our old ritual of dinner at El Toro. It used to be a weekly routine to get together there once a week to catch up with friends. A few of them gave us some gifts in memory of Addy. One of the gifts was a beautiful photo album that had Adalyn's name engraved on it along with Philippians 1:3. This verse says "I thank my God every time I remember you." It was the perfect verse and could not have been said more perfectly. Every night since she was born, Mark and I spend some time talking to Adalyn before we go to bed. I make sure to tell her how proud I am to be her mommy and how thankful I am that she is mine. We also say a prayer thanking God for our perfect little girl.

Of course we are still grieving, and will continue to grieve for our precious angel for a long time, but we are still at peace and extremely thankful that she was put in our lives. I constantly tell Mark how much I miss her and wish that I could hold her in my arms. I will always wish that we could watch her grow up and see what kind of amazing woman she becomes. We will not get to see who was right in our argument about whether she becomes a goalie like her dad or a forward like her mom. Or whether she even plays soccer for that matter! I will never get to watch Mark walk her down the aisle for her wedding or dance with her for the father/daughter dance after. All of these things make me sad and angry at times, but I will never regret a single memory we have with her. I know that Adalyn was created for us and given to us for a reason, and we will always cherish that. We will forever be her parents and will forever love her. One day we will have brothers and sisters for her, and she will get to be their guardian angel. Grandma Scholz said that she will have her hands full with that, since their daddy was such a trouble maker from the start!

We cannot wait to be reunited with our Addy May and to get to do the things we would have done on this earth together. Until that day we are reunited with our little girl, we will continue to take every day one day at a time, and will always ask for prayers for strength. "I can do everything through Him who gives me strength" ~ Philippians 4:13. 

On another note, Mark came up with an idea to help keep Adalyn's memory alive. We designed some wrist bands to wear in memory of her. They have her name and birthday in pink writing (for our little princess). For those of you who I see or will see, if you would like one please feel free to let me know. They even glow in the dark (of course Addy wants to make a statement!)